YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!!!!!!

Hey there folks! It's me, FistingChamp. I know I haven't been around much lately, but I keep up with y'alls blogs periodically. I'm sure I've lost a lot of readers due to my inactivity, so today I'm gonna try to make it up to y'all by creating a post that is as fisty as a fist can get. Because really, isn't that what this blog is all about? Isn't the fist the reason I am here typing and you are there reading? Oh yes, it is. So let's take a look at some recent fisters that are lucky enough to have their smiling faces and orifices grace this world-wide intershnitzle.

Here we go with some good ol' fashioned self-fisting. These Do-It-Yourselfers get the FistingChamp golden star of fisting excellence.



It can be lonely fisting all by yourself, so these ladies had a friend lend a helping hand. That's what friends are for, last time I checked. Let me go check again, brb .... yeah, I just confirmed with my sources that friends are for fisting.



Take a look at this cool cat. He better be careful not to lose his watch in one of these middle-aged women.


















Now here we have something that is relatively new in the world of fist fucking - Throat Fisting! While certainly not the most enjoyable mode of fisting for the women involved, oral fisting serves only three purposes that I can recognize. Primarily, I believe the act is a display of dominance where the fister can have their way with the hole of their choosing. The fister may take pleasure in the discomfort they are causing, as the fistee's gag and get teary-eyed. Secondly, the gagging caused by oral fisting brings forth a mucous slime that serves as a robust lubricant for subsequent sex acts. Lastly, the fister may choose to shove a fist down their partner's throat while in the act of vaginal or anal intercourse, in which case the gagging reflex causes the pussyhole and asshole to contract tightly, giving the fister a nice squeeze. Clever maneuver eh? Maybe not a good one to try on the first date without asking first.



Oh, and I forgot to mention ... the obvious dangers involved in oral fisting include being bitten and getting puked on. But hey, some people are into that, and that's OK.


The last item I would like to bring to your attention is a chick getting fucked up the ass with a baseball bat. Why? Because it is some FilthyMcNasty, and that's what it's all about ... and love ... and the Hokey-Pokey. But mosty FilthyMcNasty. I wonder if there are any co-ed softball leauges in my area.


On that note, keep it nasty and I'll check back in with y'all on the flip-flop.

Fist away, fist away, fist away, fisty-land.

Loretta Lynn Knows How to Use Her Fists

Fist City

A you´ve been makin´ your brags around town
That you´ve been a lovin´ my man
But the man I love, when he picks up trash
He puts it in a garbage can
And that´s what a you look like to me
And what I see´s a pity
Close your face and stay outta my way
If ya don´t wanna go to fist city

If ya don´t wanna go to fist city
Ya better detour around my town
´Cause I´ll grab you by the hair a the head
And I´ll lift a you off a the ground

I´m not a sayin´ my baby´s a saint ´cause he ain´t
N´ that he won´t cat around with a kitty
I´m here to tell ya gal to lay offa my man
If ya don´t wanna go to fist city

Come on and tell me what you told my friends
If you think you´re brave enough
And I´ll show you what a real woman is
Since you think you´re hot stuff
You´ll bite off more than you can chew
If you get to cute or witty
You better move your feet
If you don´t wanna eat
A meal that´s called fist city

If you don´t wanna go to fist city
You better detour around my town
´Cause I´ll grab you by the hair a the head
And I´ll lift you offa the ground

I´m not a sayin´ my baby´s a saint ´cause he ain´t
N´ that he won´t cat around with a kitty
I´m here to tell ya gal to lay offa my man
If ya don´t wanna go to fist city
I´m here to tell ya gal to lay offa my man
If ya don´t wanna go to fist city

Here I am .... Rock you like a hurricane

It is a rare occasion that I actually write anything in my blog. But right now I have some time to kill and would like to share some thoughts with everyone out there in cyberland. First of all, I am going to take this opportunity to educate you all on the topic of fisting. In previous blogs I provided detailed instructions on how to fist and the benefits of fisting. Since you obviously know how to use the internet, chances are you have been exposed to fisting in one form or another. What you possibly didn't know is that fisting is not necessarily the violent, forceful act that you see in raunchy porn pop-ups along with incest and horse cock. It is an advanced sexual technique, often employed by the lesbian population but enjoyed by persons of all sexual orientations, that invovles the insertion of a hand or "fist" into an orifice (vaginal or anal) followed by a gradual progression of thrusts that build up to a what can potentially be a full-blown fistfuck. Fist fucking can be painful and hazardous to your health if not performed correctly, so here are instructions for all you beginners.

http://www.sextutor.com/fisting.shtml

Being a huge Clint Eastwood fan, I really like the title of this lesson, "A Fist Full of Pussy: Fisting Made Easy". How clever.

In this next article, from the Lesbian Life section of About.com, fisting is described as, " an act that requires patience, arousal and lots of lubrication." With a difficulty rating of "hard" and a time requirement of "at least a half hour," you can't have a quicky fisty. The instructions provided in this article are much more detailed than in the previous link. Check it out.

http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbiansex/ht/HowtoFist.htm

Have I mentioned you can fist yourself?

Or if you prefer, you can enjoy a heated game of "hand ball"!

From that last site, if you go back to the main index you can also read tutorials on how to deep throat, eat pussy, and prepare yourself for getting it up the ass. So if you didn't know, now you know.

Here is a good story of a gay mans first fisting experience ... you should read it, gay or not. The title is quite humorous, "My God, I've Got My Hand Inside You". The internet has got it all.


So, that is your fisting lesson for today. All these links are meant to be purely educational, not for you to get off on ... so fucking learn something and don't masturbate. In a future post I will give y'all some nasty fisting porno images so you can see how it's done by professionals.

Till then, have a glorious day.

And goddammit, I just wrote a huge post about fistfucking .... I better get some fucking comments or there is something wrong with you people.

FUCK YOU!!!

Must have flipped off the wrong mutha fucker. No one is gonna wanta fist with that nasty Frankenstien hand.
Parrot! Stupid birds.
Funny gothic bunny japanese teen, so rebelious.


I wish he would do this more often.

Fffffuuuuuccccckkkkkk yyyyyyaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's The End Of The World As We Know It ......... And I Feel Fine

Some say the end is near,
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this stupid shit
Silly shit
Stupid Shit


I found this awesome website that goes into detail on every possible scenerio by which the world as we know it will cease to exist. From mass insanity of the human race due to genetic deterioration, to an iceage, to the Viking religious legend of Ragnarok and the giant flying wolf, to an age old battle between the X and Y chromosomes ... not fought by women and men, but the chromosomes themselves. This site has cool pictures and really does a thourough job brainstorming our demise.

If I had to guess how the world will end, I'd have to go with the zombie theory. Either that or the Verneshot theory.

What do you think?

Something Smells Fishy

And you thought you were kinky.

See where you stand on the Fetish Road Map.

I'm Not the Man They Think I Am at Home, Oh No, No, No . . . .

I'm a Rocketman.


Yeah, so I found some gay porn on the good ol' intergizzle and I found some pictures of parrots and cockatoos and did a little photoshop handiwork. The end results were these two sexually explicit photos that capture the secret lust between one Geekbird and one Underhill. Photo-editing so realistic that most people couldn't even tell it was doctored, even I forgot a couple of times. And it only took me about 10 minutes!

New Videos!!!

Hey everybody!

I know it's been a long time, but I finally changed the videos and I intend on changing them again soon. I haven't been posting much lately and there is a very good reason for this. The reason is that I haven't really felt like it. Why? Eh, I don't know, don't care. Just because I'm not posting much does not mean that I am not here in blog world, because I am. I come and I read what everyone else is writing, I look at all of your blogs and read all the comments as a silent observer. When I stumble across something that evokes some kind of opinion out of me I will let you all know.

Oh, y'all will love this. I came across a fisting site that is both informative and entertaining, called Fisting Free. I like the name, it's subtle in a way. At a glance you might assume it's a porno site with free fisting content, meaning you don't have to pay for it and it probably sucks. But really, with the "Free" placed after the "Fisting", I interpret the meaning to be relating to the personal liberty we have to engage in fisting if we so desire. The freedom to fist, fisting freely, without social or legal constraint.

Whatever. I chuckled at the description of "Clean the Bird". When you "Clean the Bird", you "Reach your open hand into the opening as though it were Thanksgiving day and you were probing into the bird to clean out the innards. Once you're inside, feel around and though you were looking for the little bag of gimlets. Make the receiver cluck like a turkey for fun." That has to be the best part, making the receiver cluck like a turkey ... but if you are really a hardcore Bird Cleaner you finish the act with 4 hours in the oven and then eating the receiver with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and gravy.

This site is also pretty cool, no porno here, just detailed instructions and a nice fisting story. Bitch and Moan.